The Gall of Children

I’m going to preface this post by stating that I am aware what I am about to say may be wildly unpopular. Frankly, I don’t care. It is born from my experiences and if you don’t agree with my views you are welcome to walk away from this post and come back when I post something else.

I find children today to be entitled and often lacking in respect. I’m not talking about good manners, I know plenty of them who say please and thank you and all that and are still disrespectful in the more important ways. I am also not talking about little children who we do not expect to know better. I’m talking about children who are old enough to have learned the concepts I’m about to dive into. To me this covers from maybe 8 to 18 but as I was one of those 30 at 3 type kids I might be a little off base.

I am talking about common decency level of respect. Like respecting space and the belonging of others. I’m talking about listening to instructions and not acting like the rules don’t apply. This isn’t “respect your elders” either. This respect fellow humans. Now, it’s possible that this has been happening for longer than I have been aware. Again I wasn’t a normal kid and my perception of the world has always been skewed. That said, this is what I am noticing now.

It seems like these children feel that they are entitled to the world being handed to them on a silver platter. Adjustments made for the slightest problem and no effort required on their part. At the risk of sounding older than my 46 years, back in my day we had to learn how to adjust to the world, the world didn’t adjust to us. Now I’m not saying that was right either. I believe a good compromise and middle ground is best. I am thankful for the accommodations I get at work now but I also make adjustments for myself to work with in the structure of my job so the accommodations I need can be most successful and are not a solution to the problem but an additional tool in my arsenal.

Maybe it’s the children I’m exposed to? I don’t know. I don’t have kids of my own. Never wanted them and I’m doing the best I can with bonus children I have in my life due to my partner. Because this is a public site and I have no control over who might find this at some point, I will not go into that situation specifically. I will also state that I love my partner’s kids even if I don’t always understand their behavior or agree with how they are being raised. It’s not my place or my job to have a say in that at this point in time. But I am allowed to have my thoughts and opinions and they do often leak out because again, I live an authentic life and I’ve never been real good at keeping my thoughts to myself. The times I’ve tried have been more disastrous than when I share them, to be honest.

But I digress. Let’s get back to respect. Being aware of the space we occupy and not infringing on the space of others, especially when we do not like our space to be infringed upon is basic respect. Asking before touching the belongings of others is also basic respect. Yet, I often see both of these bypassed in favor of “I want” behaviors. Now I will say while this writing is focused on children and the absolute gall I find them to have in these behaviors, I have seen this in the adults too. The reason I wanted to write about seeing it in children is that children are impressionable. We have the opportunity to fix these problems with proper rules and boundaries. Free thinking is wonderful, I think many of us wish we had been allowed more of that growing up. At the same time, there is a time and a place for it. Structure is still important while figuring out the world.

Earlier today when I first started thinking about this topic, I remembered a song from my childhood. It was sung by Whitney Houston though I’m sure it wasn’t original to her. I believe the song was called “The Greatest Love of All.” Remember how I said I was 30 at 3? Well this song was popular when I was like 7 and yet I remember it resonating with me. If you aren’t familiar with it, I’ve put the lyrics below:

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

And if, by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Now, this isn’t a song that I should have resonated with at that age but it is very true for the life I have lived. However, the reason I bring it up now, and that it popped into my head it the line “I believe the children are our future.” I’ve always agreed with this sentiment and I think it may have had something to do with why I never wanted kids. I didn’t want to be responsible for the future. It also scares me now, because if these younger generations are the ones that are to lead us, I fear for our future even more than I fear the present. And the current timeline is heartbreaking.

I don’t know what the solution is. I know our teachers are trying but don’t have the resources. I know most parents are stretched thin but I do still hold them responsible as children learn from them most. I’ve always said children have 2 choices in life, do as their parents do because they connect with it, or do the opposite because they despise it. Children who are handed everything, who never have to work or face consequences have no reason to choose anything other than to continue to act like they are because they are rewarded for it and that falls squarely with the parents, in my “I’m not a parent” very humble opinion.

-Flower