What skills or lessons have you learned recently?
I love this question because it implies something that I have said for a long time, we never stop learning. We can stop our formal education but we are constantly learning new things in life. We have to. That’s the human experience.
As for me, I’ve recently learned a lot about Twitch and YouTube as I explore content creation and streaming. I’ve learned how to run this blog. I’m actually still learning all of those. Those are skills. They are skills that will constantly need to evolve as the world I use them in evolves. Nothing technological stays stagnant for long so as long as I am creating content I will be learning new things about these processes.
I’ve also learned life lessons. The biggest one is that while it’s hard and painful to uphold boundaries, it’s essential to my mental health to do so. I have recently had some very difficult conversations with both of my parents regarding the way they communicate with me, their expectations vs my reality, and how things will be. With my father especially, I had to set some really firm boundaries, ones I expected him to try to push past and ignore. However, for the first time in my life, I stuck to it. I was firm and straightforward. I stated everything clearly and I didn’t create wiggle room or a back door. And miraculously, he is abiding by the boundaries I set. I still sense a bit of frustration and a lot of not understanding the why from him but he’s keeping to my request for communication preferences. It is making it much easier to imagine having a decent relationship with him. I do not think we will ever be able to ease up on the boundaries I’ve placed but thats just how it goes sometimes. I am just glad I learned how to do it. I am thankful to my therapist for being there with me as I worked on the hard emails, and helping me come up with coping plans for if things went sideways. I was prepared to go no contact with him if it came to it and I’m glad it didn’t. And even though there is much unresolved between us that I do not think will ever be resolved, I now am able to move forward as I’ve said my peace and not left room for him to try to excuse his way out of his toxic behaviors of the past. I’ve also learned that I can walk away from him and my relationship with him at any time if he starts to push on those boundaries again. Blood relations are obligations I didn’t consent to and I will not be forced to deal with them if they drain me. I’ve always thought that but now I am living it and that is my biggest lesson of the year.
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