Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.
Dear Me,
Wow, if you are reading this you made it to 100 years old. Do you remember when we were sure we were destined to die by the age of 30? We had no good reason for it but we knew it was true. Yet here you are at 100 and here I am writing this just a few days after our 47th birthday. Hard to believe, huh?
I hope you had an amazing life. I hope you continued to explore your artistic talents. I hope you continued to fight for colorings space in the art community. I hope you continued to find supportive communities where you fit in and felt accepted rather than constantly wearing that obnoxious mask we tolerated for way too long.
Did you and Josh ever get that RV and travel around? Did you ever stop going to concerts with Chris? How are both of them? I hope you didn’t outlive them. Did Joe ever get his head out of Jen’s ass and realize what he was missing in life? Did B and Jerry ever have kids? I have so many questions about the future, not only ours but of those we care about so very deeply.
I want to know how G and D turned out. You know we never wanted kids, to be a mom, any of that. But being a bonus parent wasn’t that bad was it? I mean, I know I’m still struggling with it at times. But thats often because I feel like I’m not able to react to behaviors the way I want to, the way I feel they deserve. Not saying they need punishment, just they need a better understanding of the way of the world. I hope they learned all that before it was too late.
I wish I knew that you had a happy life and found peace. I know it hasn’t always been easy for us. There’s been a lot of emotional turmoil, much of it self inflicted. I do believe that at the time that I am writing this that we are on the right path though. That we are finding our happiness. Finding our true selves.
I wonder how long you stayed at Moffitt and where your career took you. I wonder if this annoying master’s degree ever mattered. Maybe you eventually stopped and started working for Allen and the boys and lived out the rest of your life happily going to pen shows, coloring, and helping others find the joy of fountain pens. What ever you ended up doing, I know it was amazing.
I am also sorry for all the pain, heartache, fear, and anxiety we went through. I know it wasn’t my fault but I need you know that it wasn’t yours either. We lived the hand we were dealt and we did the best we could to improve it.
I hope you live for many more years but only if you are happy. You know that my wish is to go when the time is right and now stay when my presence is no longer useful on this earth. So please, don’t linger here if there is somewhere else you would rather be. You’ll be back, theres always our next life.
With all the love in our heart,
Me
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